I believe in nothing, at least that's what I believe. There was a time when I counted each 'tick' of the clock, but all they do is deceive, and run parallel with every 'tock.' So I traded counting for waiting, in the hope it would stop the anticipating, something will happen, something must happen, something would happen, something could happen, but no.
I believe in nothing, at least that's what I believe I believed. My frustrations were just imaginations, of another character whispering in my ear. Apathy is my defining trait, I've been told... I hear. There are times, moments, fractions of seconds separate from reality, where I might let myself believe in love and spirituality, where the world isn't such a daunting, desolate place, and we aren't just bodies, floating through empty space. I like to keep a safe distance from those moments, and weep as the sight of them passing by, brings another pathetic, self-hating tear to my weary, bloodshot eye.
I believe in nothing, at least that's what I tell myself I believe I believed. That somehow that is justification for me being so passively aggrieved. When In truth I know there is nothing, or little, at the very least, that can be said to solidify the position that my lifespan should be increased in light of others, whose lot is worse than mine, whose misery and suffering I am unable to define, especially in comparison to this life of mine. There is nothing of significance to be said, and yet here it is. I believe in nothing, but I can't believe it's true, I have to believe in something... If not myself, then something, someone... You.